Being called intimidating is one of those compliments that starts sounding suspicious once you notice how often men use it to cover for being underqualified. One guy told me I was “a lot” while still texting every time he wanted to come over, which was fascinating because apparently I only became too much once I expected him to bring something besides a hard cock and willing tongue. I’ve met enough men who confuse wanting a strong woman with being able to handle one. Sandy Martin turns that whole problem cosmic on ‘Ice Candy,’ where an all-powerful goddess has had the entire universe to choose from and still cannot find one lover capable of lighting her up. That is a hell of a dating pool to strike out in.
If a cosmic goddess is going shopping for somebody worthy of her, she deserves production that sounds expensive enough for interstellar cruising. Producer Tim Phoenix gives ‘Ice Candy’ a hypnotic four-on-the-floor pulse while glossy synths keep flashing around Sandy’s vocal like neon outside a club at 2 a.m. Recorded in Hollywood, the track sounds big enough for the mythology and still leaves Sandy right at the center of it. She has apparently been wandering creation since before time and remains bored by the applicants. I respect that shit.
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Sandy introduces her with “Electric colors fly / On a wild ride so high,” then gets to the challenge with “Show me if you dare.” Ice Candy is already tired of men admiring her from a safe distance She wants a man who can get close enough to feel her power and still keep his nerve, because admiration gets boring when nobody is willing to kneel close enough to earn the view. I’ve met plenty of men who loved the idea of a woman with a big personality until she expected them to have one too. Calling her intimidating is convenient when admitting you came underqualified would hurt your feelings.
The chorus makes the dare explicit with “I’m ice candy baby / You can’t handle me / So sweet and so wild / Come and set me free.” She has earned that swagger. This woman is supposedly older than time and has spent eternity waiting for somebody who can do more than stare at the packaging. “You can’t handle me” starts sounding like a résumé requirement. If he shows up talking a big game and still cannot move the needle, congratulations, he was decorative.
Her voltage gets hornier in the second verse. “Lightning in my veins / Rushing through me like a train” puts all that power inside her body before she asks, “Will the voltage rise and spark something inside.” There it is. She wants somebody who can make the fucking electricity go somewhere. “No one ever lit my fuse” sounds considerably nastier when you picture a goddess flat on her back wondering how another man managed to arrive this confident and leave her body this fucking unimpressed.
Ice Candy has had gods and men staring up at her for eternity, and apparently admiration still has not gotten the job done. She wants the one lover who can make all that control feel optional for a night, somebody strong enough that letting go feels sexy instead of stupid. A goddess can run the universe herself, but sometimes she still wants a man worth climbing down from the throne for.
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Sandy Martin started writing songs young before moving to Los Angeles and eventually signing with a major label. She later toured as a background singer with Rod Stewart and built a separate career writing and recording music for film and television. Her résumé also includes work around names such as Will Smith and Quincy Jones, which gives her a hell of a lot more history than ‘Ice Candy’ initially lets on. That experience fits an artist comfortable building an entire universe around one horny, impossible goddess instead of settling for another ordinary love song.
Ice Candy has had eternity to lower her standards and apparently never saw the fucking point. Let the weak ones call her intimidating from a safe distance. She is still looking for the man who can get close enough to make an immortal goddess lose control for once. Until then, he can worship from a safe distance because she has no use for another man who can’t light her fuse.
