I’m in the frozen foods aisle at Whole Foods holding a $12 cauliflower pizza and pretending to read the ingredients while actually stalking my ex’s new girlfriend’s Instagram stories. She’s at pilates. Of course she’s at fucking pilates. My phone shuffles to Diana Vickers’ ‘Pretty Boys’ right as I’m zooming in on her workout set, and suddenly I’m standing there between the organic ice cream and gluten-free waffles having a full spiritual awakening. Because Diana just reminded me that while I’m here analyzing some girl’s sports bra I could be getting railed by someone who looks like a Calvin Klein ad and doesn’t know my middle name. This track is telling me exactly what I need to hear: fuck the complicated ones. Get yourself a pretty boy who’s too busy admiring his own reflection to gaslight you. Someone who’ll get you off three times before noon and won’t text you a dissertation about his childhood trauma after. Sometimes shallow is exactly deep enough.
This track hits like that third tequila shot when you already know you’re going home with trouble. The production is pure sex-dripped electro-pop that makes your body move before your brain catches up. That bassline? It’s doing the same thing to your ears that his thumb does tracing circles on your inner thigh. The beat builds and drops exactly like good foreplay – teasing you, pulling back, then hitting you with everything at once until you’re breathless and begging for more.
Diana’s not here to sugarcoat shit. “First date, you’re obsessed with me / Late night, you don’t stop texting me” – yeah, we’ve all been love-bombed by a pretty narcissist who texts like he’s writing poetry until suddenly he’s “sending threats to me.” The way she delivers “Now you’re dead to me” with that ice-cold finality is the exact energy you need when you finally block his number.
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The pre-chorus is where she really goes for the jugular: “You’re a narcissist, so full of shit / My therapist got rich off this misogynist.” Goddamn if that isn’t every woman’s 2025 dating anthem. We’re all making our therapists’ mortgage payments talking about these emotionally stunted man-children who think gaslighting is a love language.
But here’s where Diana flips the whole fucking script – she’s not crying into her pillow about it. She’s “Top down with a pretty boy” who actually knows what he’s doing. The second verse gets absolutely filthy with “Wet dreams, tight jeans / Skin-deep, Jimmy Dean” before hitting us with “Hand prints on the window screen.” We all know exactly what kind of hand prints she’s talking about and suddenly I need a cold shower and a cigarette.
That bridge where she compares the new guy to the old toxic mess? “You’ve got brown eyes, he’s got blue / I thought chains of melody halfway through / Everything he does, he does it better than you” – she’s not just talking about his eyes, bestie, she’s talking about everything. The way he sends you into orbit then gently holds you as you come down.
She chants near the end “Pretty boys do it better, better / Pretty boys forever, ever” and it sounds like that moment when you realize you’ve been settling for mediocre dick from complicated men when you could’ve been having uncomplicated fun with someone who just wants to make you feel good.
Diana has crafted the perfect revenge fuck anthem. It’s not about getting back at your ex – it’s about getting over him by getting under someone infinitely better. Someone who might be shallow as a puddle but at least he’s honest about it. Someone who won’t text you paragraphs at 3am about his childhood trauma right after calling you crazy.
Ms. Vickers has been in our collective pop consciousness since she was sixteen, back when she walked onto The X Factor stage in 2008 and made the entire U.K. argue about whether her voice was genius or grating. (Spoiler: it was genius.) She went from indie theatre darling to chart-topping pop rebel with her debut Songs from the Tainted Cherry Tree, then reinvented herself all over again with the shimmering electro-pop of Music to Make Boys Cry. Somewhere between launching fashion lines, starring in plays, and acting opposite Scott Eastwood in The Perfect Wave, she became the kind of woman who writes songs that make you want to drink tequila and text your ex just to prove you’ve evolved. Every new era, she shapeshifts—always honest, always hot, never boring.
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The video turns that heat all the way up. Diana’s in the backseat with a pretty boy, and it plays like a post-breakup fantasy caught on a dashboard cam. Every shot knows exactly what it’s doing. When she leans in for that kiss, it’s not about him, it’s about taking back every bit of power she ever wasted on the wrong men.
“After my type always turned out to be the toxic narcissist and after spending hours in my therapist’s chair -I decided it was time for a change,” Diana said. “Honestly, I recommend going for the pretty boys, because they do it better. Pretty Boys is about reclaiming my power and stepping into my most confident, sexual energy. In the video, I’m channeling my inner Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct -unapologetic, dangerous, and completely in control.”
This track fucks. It knows it fucks. It wants you to fuck to it. And honestly? After listening to it on repeat while getting ready to go out tonight, I’m about to make some beautifully terrible decisions with the first pretty boy who buys me a drink.
Stream this immediately and add it to your “getting ready to make bad decisions” playlist. Your therapist might get rich, but at least you’ll have fun doing it.
